Engagements  /  

Jul 26, 2011

Dear Brides: How many Bridesmaids Should You Ask To Be In The Wedding?

When you get engaged and start the excitement of the planning process, one of the questions people start buzzing about who is going to be in your wedding party. Who should stand by your side? What’s the criteria for choosing? Some people choose their closest friends since grade school, some may say the more the merrier and pick friends from every stage of their life.

Personally, I think there should be a limit. At what number does it become too much? 10? 12? 14? One thing to consider is as you get older your friendships change and  your close friends evolve over time – they move away, get new jobs, get married  and have families, etc.. and that’s normal! Don’t  feel obligated to have everyone you’ve ever known throughout your life in your wedding. Take some time and think about will these women (or men) be there for you when you absolutely need them the most? Are these true friends and relatives that have been through the best and worst times and will they continue to be?

We often don’t think about it because we get wrapped up in the fun of having everyone included, but don’t forget that sometimes less is more. It is also a lot to ask of your friends – buy a dress/shoes/jewelry/hair/makeup, attend all the wedding events, travel fares for friends who live out of town… it starts to add up!  There are  ways to include your friends in your wedding planning process rather than having them stand next to you in a matching dress! Assign them a task – have them help assemble favors, read a passage or a poem during the ceremony or usher wedding guests. There are ways to have them be a part of the wedding without being a part of the wedding party.

Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life, and when you look back on your wedding pictures 10 years from now you want to still be close to the people standing up there with you. Not only are your bridesmaids there to help you out on your day, but they also represent the people that are going to be there for you throughout your marriage so it’s important to choose carefully.


Photo by Leo Patrone

  • Agreed RT @weddingPR Dear Brides: How many bridesmaids should you ask to be in the wedding? Sometimes less is more! http://su.pr/3WbGQ4

  • @weddingPR one for the future, one from the present and one from the past…um, that would the 3…final answer

  • Totally agree – went w/3 & it was perfct! RT @weddingPR Dear Brides: How many bridesmaids should you ask…

  • @weddingPR I so agree the less is more 🙂

  • Dear Brides: How many bridesmaids should you ask to be in the wedding? Sometimes less is more! http://su.pr/3WbGQ4

  • Dear Brides: How many bridesmaids should you ask to be in the wedding? Sometimes less is more! http://su.pr/3WbGQ4

  • Dear Brides: How many bridesmaids should you ask to be in the wedding? Sometimes less is more! http://su.pr/3WbGQ4

  • RT @weddingPR How many bridesmaids should you ask to be in the wedding? Sometimes less is more! http://su.pr/3WbGQ4q

  • @weddingPR I agree sometimes less is more. especially in group photos 😀

  • @weddingPR I shot a wedding in Chicago last year with 16 bridesmaids +16 groomsmen. What do you think? Too many? 😉

  • Excellent post! Once I saw pictures from a wedding and it looked like most of the guests were in the bridal party. (Must have been about 15-20 bridesmaids and groomsmen, and not a huge wedding overall!) I have a hard time believing the bride and groom are that close to that many people.

  • Vanessa

    Leila, your Tuesday posts are always wonderful!

  • “@weddingPR: Dear Brides How many bridesmaids should you ask for your wedding? Sometimes less is more! http://t.co/o2tln2b” Agreed! #quality

  • I agree completely! I think 3 is a good number 🙂 And only those who know me right now in my life, and know my fiance too!

  • Has anyone else noticed that brides sometimes feel obligated to include too many of their friends in their wedding? http://su.pr/3WbGQ4

  • @weddingPR Yes! I’m sure they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings,.

  • @weddingPR I really think that big wedding parties take away the intimacy of the real reason a couple is the ceremony should be about them!

  • RT @weddingPR Totally agree that less is more!

  • @weddingPR as soon as I hear “I was in a sorority” from a bride, I get a little nervous.

  • @weddingPR YES, when their acquaintances would probably prefer to stay home, save money on a gift, etc.

  • How many bridesmaids will you have? Consider this: RT @weddingpr: How many bridesmaids? Sometimes less is more… http://su.pr/3WbGQ4

  • @weddingPR I think 3 Bridesmaids and 3 Groomsmen is perfect. Too big of a wedding party is hard to manage.

  • @weddingPR We’ve noticed that’s often family members they feel obligated to include. A recent bride has 15 BMs… Goodness!

  • Personally, I think 5 or 6 people to have in your wedding party is about perfect. It makes for nice pictures, not too busy. More than this seems a little “much”, and takes focus off the bride and groom.

  • nikki

    I’m going to go against the grain on this one. Personally, I see nothing wrong with having as many bridesmaids as you want! If you are genuinely close to a lot of people, it’s not fair to have to pick and choose. I’m going to have 8, maybe 9, in my wedding. At first I was worried about having so many because of all the thoughts expressed here. But at the end of the day, I want my very best friends, new and old, to be standing behind me. So I say, the more the merrier! On the brightside, your ‘maids can divide the costs even more that come with planning showers and such!

  • I maybe choose the best among my friends and relatives. It would be a treasure to be with them even if only in the picture. A memory that couldn’t be forgotten.

  • I agree with your post Leila. It’s a nice thing to choose the best among the rest.

  • Angela

    If it were up to me….and I realize it should be, I would have had 4. I have 6. And if I would have waited I could have whittled it down to 3. One of my BM’s got engaged a week after I did and is moving across the country. Will she make it to anything besides the wedding? Highly doubt it.

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