Getting engaged is one of life’s most joyful milestones, and also the moment when excitement and “where do we even start?” collide. Between congratulatory texts, ring selfies, and advice from friends and family, it’s easy to feel pressure to jump straight into planning mode. But before you open a single spreadsheet, we asked six seasoned wedding professionals to share the most important things to do when you get engaged.
Meet the Experts
- Jennifer Hardiman, Owner, Fabuluxe Events
- Jennifer Cortiella, Photographer, Cortiella Photography
- Mallory McManus, Creative Director, M Visuals
- Lisa Jaroscak, Owner and Creative Director, Elegante Wedding & Events
- Amy Abbott, Founder & Planner, Amy Abbott Events
- Sammy Jo Del Priore, Owner, SJ Del Priore Photo & Film
1. Enjoy Being Engaged
Before diving into logistics, allow yourselves to actually be engaged. This season is exciting, and it deserves to be celebrated without immediately turning into a to-do list.
“Don’t dive into wedding planning the next day,” Hardiman says. There’s no rule saying you need to book anything immediately, even if it feels like everyone else is moving at lightning speed. Cortiella echoes that sentiment, encouraging couples to slow down before getting swept into planning mode. “Before you dive into planning spreadsheets and venue tours, take a moment to breathe it in,” she says.
One of the most overlooked things to do when you get engaged is simply giving yourselves permission to enjoy the moment — because once planning begins, it can move fast!
2. Create a Wedding Email
Once you’re ready to take a small, practical step, setting up a shared wedding email is an easy win. It creates instant organization and keeps wedding communication from overtaking your personal inboxes.
“A shared email helps keep contracts, invoices, and vendor communication neatly organized in one place from the very beginning,” McManus explains. This is one of those behind-the-scenes things to do when you get engaged that pays off for months (and months) to come.
3. Define Priorities
Before contacting vendors or touring venues, take time to talk through what truly matters. Your answers will guide every decision that follows.
“Is the vision an intimate gathering or a lively celebration? Do you care more about an elevated dining experience or unforgettable entertainment?” These are questions McManus suggests asking yourself. Del Priore adds that this conversation should include big-picture direction. “Deciding what kind of wedding you want, whether it’s a destination celebration or a local affair, since that choice shapes every decision that follows.”
Clarifying priorities early is one of the most important things to do when you get engaged, helping you move forward with confidence instead of comparison.
4. Talk Numbers
Budget conversations aren’t always easy, but having them early sets clear expectations.
“Budget conversations are often delayed, which can complicate planning later,” Abbott notes.“This does not require locking in every line item, but it does mean understanding priorities and limitations upfront.”
Hardiman agrees, adding that a “clear understanding of contributions and budget will save stress throughout the process.” Cortiella encourages couples to ask the foundational questions early: “What budget feels realistic and comfortable? How many guests are we inviting?” Among the most practical things to do when you get engaged, this step creates alignment.
5. Bring in a Planner Early
Many couples wait to hire a planner until after they’ve started booking, but professionals agree that bringing in expert guidance sooner can make the process far smoother.
“Planning is most effective when structure is introduced at the beginning,” Abbott explains. When that structure comes later, “couples often find themselves undoing decisions or reworking plans that could have been streamlined from the start.”
Beyond timing, finding the right planner is just as important. This is the person who will guide you through countless decisions, advocate for your vision, and support you every step of the way. Jorack encourages couples not to rush this choice, sharing, “Find the best fit for your vibe, location, and overall vision.”
When finding a planner, it is important to find the right fit for you, this person will be with you every step of the way. “Find the best fit for your vibe, location, and overall vision.” Jaroscak urges couples to take time finding the right fit.
Wedding planning doesn’t have to feel overwhelming when you start with intention, clarity, and the right support. Remember, this is a season meant to be enjoyed, not rushed. Once you’ve completed these steps, head back to Inspired By This to find all the wedding inspiration.
