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Last week it was all about those “Slashers“! Today its all about four letter words in the wedding world.
I’m so floored right now about the amount of foul words that we support and act are OK to use when referring to weddings.
When did this happen? When did it become OK to refer to flowers as “porn”. I grew up the daughter of a florist. She was always making pretty things, arranging gift baskets for teachers, and flower girl crowns made of roses and babies breath back then. We were never allowed to say bad words in our house or you got your mouth washed out with soap. Any of you relate to that? Imagine if back then people were talking about flowers and her corsages for dances describing them with sexual innuendos. My blog coordinator Lauren said to me yesterday “even if its lust worthy.. Choose another word. It’s just gross!”. I know some of you do this- sorry you may not like what I have to say but in an industry of love and marriage- I just don’t think its appropriate.
It also is really hard for me to see people using Ebonics in their wedding industry related tweets and blog posts. How is that good for your brand? Maybe some of you will disagree here, but when you act like you cant speak proper English while conducting business, it baffles the mind. If you’re a wedding industry professional who is hired to provide a service to a bride and groom through this rite of passage, I’m assuming you’ve been educated? Then why are we using words like “Ass” and “Porn”. I mean why do I have to even write this? Its so upsetting that we use words to describe wedding sentiments, products, and images with words that are not only not very lady like but are down right offensive.
I’m not saying that I have never said a bad word- come on! We’re all human and I’m not a saint.. I’m just wondering when our industry started accepting mediocrity and foul language as appropriate. Are we re-defining what weddings are all about? I’m not a fan! I choose to plan my wedding with dignity and class and conduct my business in a similar vein. I’m hoping as an industry we can stay classy. Who’s with me?
**UPDATE: I am not personally attacking anyone. This is my opinion. When I am referring to Ebonics I’m referring to its usage as slang!
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Tags: inappropriate language, Language, wedding marketing expert, wedding PR, Wedding Public Relations
Thanks for sharing your post, Leila. I don’t necessarily agree or disagree, but I guess it seems silly to judge or berate you for stating your opinion and ultimately explaining what your brand believes in. This is the point of your personal blog and what we are all trying to do in our own way and on our own blogs, tweets, etc. It’s not right for everyone, but just like those who use “ass”, “porn”, etc., you continue to attract the people you want by the way you speak. Your clients relate to you just like the professionals you are speaking of have clients that love exactly what they do and how they do it. I’m personally a little more conservative yet still casual with the way I represent my company but that’s what’s real for me and in a way what makes me unique to the industry. I am actually so glad others choose to be who they are, whether it be you, Broke Ass Bride or Liene. Each of us bring a different perspective to the industry and it’s one our own particular clients relate to for whatever reason. Truth be told, yours, Dana’s or Liene’s clients wouldn’t want to work with me and I probably wouldn’t want to work with them either. It all ends up working out in the end
. I might have not read deep enough but what I took from your post was more about practices that you ultimately believe are reducing the overall standards of the wedding industry. Again, I don’t necessarily agree or disagree with the specific topic you are addressing, but I would definitely love it if all of our peers thought about how they are affecting the industry as a whole when they make decisions about how to position themselves within the industry. It’s the same way I feel every time a new bride prints up business cards and calls herself a planner without any training. It reflects poorly on the industry and makes all wedding planners look uneducated, ill-prepared and so on…but, I digress…the point is, I hope everyone keeps doing what they do and in the end helps to grow and expand this industry that I not only love, but that also allows me to be exactly who I am.
I appreciate this post, Leila.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I do swear. I even, on occasion swear in front of my children. I also let them know that I worked very hard on my college education and I probably could have used a better word.
I did not see that Leila was specifically attacking any individual brand or brands. I read it as collectively, the wedding industry, is taking the “be yourself” advice literally and we are trending to “let it all hang out” and that, overall, if we are careless when choosing words, is not a good thing.
With that, I do think for certain brands like the “broke-ass bride” it works. I follow her, I appreciate her brand and what she is doing. Dana uses and chooses her words wisely. It works. But because it works for Dana and her brand “Broke-Ass Bride” it does give everyone else license to use the word “ass” and “yo” with reckless abandon. I am seeing more blogs and more tweets with slang and more cursing. If we continue to accept it widely and are not thoughtful about the words we choose it will dumb down our industry as a whole.
For me, as a florist, the term, “flower porn” makes my heart ache from the inside-out. I see it floral design as art. Porn is not art, it is not love, it is a medium that reduces individuals to mere objects. Porn is one dimensional, simple and careless. Floral design within the wedding industry is thoughtful, it is about individuals, it is love, and it is multi-dimensional medium. When I create bouquets and boutonnieres, I think about love and how beautiful LIFE is. It pains me to the core to see the word porn paired up with something so lovely as flowers.
While I greatly appreciate free speech, I do believe that that we have a responsibility within the industry which we say we belong. Act with integrity. Be yourself, but be respectful of those around you. In college I worked in several restaurants and learned very quickly in every restaurant there is a private (kitchen and prep areas) “back of the house” area and a public (dining) “the front of the house”. In the back of the house employees would let it all hang out, we were able to let our guard down. Raunchy music played, melt-downs occurred, fights broke out, we all cursed and even drank. I heard stories and saw behavior that would make a drunken sailor blush. The back of the house was a veritable free for all. The “front of the house” was open to customers and patrons and we all knew to watch our mouth, our behavior and act with respect and dignity. We all knew to act with integrity in the ‘front of the house’. Our jobs, the restaurant, and even the restaurant industry depended on it.
Collectively, we need to realize social media is the “the front of the house”. We need to recognize that when we say we are a part of the wedding industry we should know to act responsibly with respect and dignity. Be yourself, but save that “bad-a**” self of yours for private situations and within a set context.
The best quality you can have in life and business is a teachable spirit. If you are stubborn and never think there is room for change, you just won’t grow to be anything beyond what you are right now. Forget about the tone. Forget about her phrasing. Don’t get defensive. Listen to what she has to say and then decide whether you want to listen to it or ignore it. I’ve listened to people speak at conferences that I didn’t altogether agree with but I listened and taken something amazing away from it. I could have walked out but that wouldn’t have hurt anybody but myself.
It doesn’t hurt Leila one bit if you choose not to take her advice. It can only affect you. If you are picking apart the post, the truth is you don’t agree with it and will find a reason to write it off so you don’t have to feel accountable for it. It’s your decision. You don’t have to justify it to the world by belittling the post. I agree. There are some exceptions to the rule (like Dana) but if we ignored this topic for a handful of exceptions, we wouldn’t get anywhere with this.
Leila’s business is helping other businesses grow. If she says something I am going to ar least hear her out.
My toes were stepped on a bit with the blog posts about slashers. I am a wedding planner/invitation designer. And I don’t plan on giving one up but I do understand the purpose of the post. It did help me recognize that I don’t want to spread myself thin and I am simplifying things for myself to achieve that.
I think this is a great article. It is important for people to know that when they post words ANYWHERE it is for good. Even if it is a cute tweet about flower porn, it is still a reflection on you as a person. And people don’t realize that words read differently than when they are spoken. It can really affect someone’s opinion of you in a negative way.
I don’t like how even shoe whore or shopping whore has become a common term to the point where they’re on tshirts. There has to be a balance between being proper and having a sense of humor.